


Exclusive on Sasuke

by rhodrymavelyne



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 12:32:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4305222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhodrymavelyne/pseuds/rhodrymavelyne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What was Sasuke's true reason for leaving Konoha? Tenten has a behind the scenes interview with Sasuke at a resort, where he's staying with Orochimaru.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exclusive on Sasuke

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place during the time Sasuke is off with Orochimaru, after Sai, Naruto, Sakura, and Yamato's failed attempt to save him. It was inspired by all the 'behind the scenes' omake we've seen, as well as the fighting recap episode. This is also crack. Don't take it too seriously, but I hope you enjoy it. ;)
> 
> There's a brief mention of 'Tokyo Babylon' in this, which I'm also a big fan of. It isn't really a cross over, though, so I didn't list it as such.

"Here we are," Sai said, adjusting an outfit even skimpier than his usual attire, as he stares into a camera. "At the secret hideout-"

CANCEL

Sai shook his head. "I'm not emotional or genki enough to be a news reporter. Have Naruto do it."

Rock Lee stomped his foot impatiently. "It can't be Naruto-kun! He doesn't know where Sasuke-kun is, so he can't interview him! He'd be trying to rescue him if he knew, as would Sakura-san!"

"OK, you do it."

"No, I have a better idea. Have Tenten do it."

(There's a moment, when the TV screen turns fuzzy. When it clears, Tenten is there, with a luxurious hotel and a pool behind her.)

TENTEN: Hi, this is Tenten, reporting live from a secret resort where the Sound Ninja are hanging out. I was chosen to interview Uchiha Sasuke, because, hey, why I am doing this, anyway?

(The screen blurs, to show Tsunade sitting in her office in Konoha.)

TSUNADE: (looking away) It's because, um, you were the most qualified for this interview. 

(The screen blurs again. Cut back to Tenten.)

TENTEN: (starry eyed at praise from her idol) Really? (enthusiasm at full strength) OK! Well, I'm getting an exclusive with Uchiha Sasuke, traitor to Konoha, at this five star resort paid for by Orochimaru. Uchiha Sasuke, what reasons do you have for stabbing Naruto in the back, making Naruto cry, and challenging Seishirou of 'Tokyo Babylon' for the Golden Asshole Award of Semes...hello, what's all this?

SASUKE: (glowering at her from his lawn chair by the pool) I was wondering the same thing.

TENTEN: Neji is the one who came up with a lot of these questions, though I think Gaara of the Sands helped a lot. 

SASUKE: (eyes turning red) Did they, now?

TENTEN: Um, Sasuke. Why did you leave Konoha?

SASUKE: The official reason is I wanted power. The truth is I need a vacation.

TENTEN: A vacation?

SASUKE: Hell, yes. As part of Naruto's team and a major character, it's been work, work, work. Do you know how much energy it takes to keep up with Naruto?

TENTEN: Hmm...yeah, I've been on a few missions with him. During those times, I was thrown off a cliff, pronounced dead, and fed killer curry.

SASUKE: This was my life, constantly. I nearly died by being pierced by flying needles, was attacked by a perverted snake who wants my body-

TENTEN: Whom you're on vacation with.

SASUKE: It's much less stressful and life threatening with Naruto not around. Besides (evil glint in red eyes) have you noticed how much he's missing me, now I'm gone?

TENTEN: Are you kidding me? He used to complain about how Sakura and Ino would go on and on about you, when you were around! Now, he's worse than they are! All he ever does is clutch your headband and mutter your name, when he isn't screaming it!

SASUKE: Heh, heh, heh. He's so cute, when he's angsting. (really evil smile) By the time I return, he'll be willing to do *anything* to get me back. Being evil is so much fun, heh, heh, heh.

TENTEN: Err, so, Sasuke, do you plan to return to Konoha?

SASUKE: Not exactly. I'll just wait a while and drop enough clues, so I can be found. Heh, heh, heh.

TENTEN: You're assuming anyone will come looking for you. Shikamaru was more concerned about Chouji being hurt than you leaving. Chouji only risked his life in the retrieval mission for Shikamaru's sake. Lee only did it, because Sakura was sad about you leaving. Neji and Gaara were doing it to show off to Naruto how much cooler they are than you. By the time they're finished, Sakura may realize what a good man Lee is, while Naruto may realize he has other options. One of which has a lot more in common with him than you do. After all, Gaara knows more about how Naruto truly feels, being a tailed demon, doesn't he?

SASUKE:...

TENTEN: Not to mention Neji can be just as determined as you, when he wants something. BTW, he and Gaara send you their best wishes. They hope you'll have a long, long vacation. They both promise to look after Naruto, while you're gone-

END OF INTERVIEW due to the fiery explosion. The screen goes fuzzy, once more. 


End file.
